Well friends, I thought this Friday the 13th would be all tricks and ghouls, but it appears Zeus and the gods have a bit of a treat in store today… As I’m sure most, if not all of you, follow Mr. Kutcher’s Twitter page religiously you have already heard this news.
But let us take a moment to really sit back and consider how great it will be to see Ashton Kutcher’s face every where… on subway trains, billboards, and probably even crude carvings in bus station bathroom stalls (I’ll be doing those). God forbid you want a CBS Sports broadcast without seeing 26 promos for this week’s zany episode.
I hope at all times I have access to a countdown clock alerting me as to how much time I have remaining to straighten my affairs as I might literally die laughing while watching.
I’d comment on how I think they’ll write him onto the show or discuss his chemistry but who cares. I certainly wasn’t watching before and I’m contended to continue to turn an apathetic eye roll to the show. Although, I do have one suggestion to recast the half man…
What an awful, awful day. Not only does Human Target get cancelled, but the world loses a true American hero, Robert “Tractor” Traylor. Traylor was found dead in his apartment in Puerto Rico early Wednesday. As you know, Traylor is a revered figure here at Brundlefly HQ. His iconic image has graced our pages since Day One. As a fat child, and now as a fat adult, Traylor was a true role model for me.
I believe I speak for all of us who sported Utility jeans and wore a t-shirt in the pool when I say that Tractor inspired me to believe that one day I too could average 14.7 ppg and 8.9 rpg for a prestigious college basketball program. Alas, I never fulfilled my basketball potential, but Traylor was still a figure I looked up too. In his honor I thought I would post just a few of my favorite Tractor Traylors of all-time.
To say that this trailer doesn’t 110% percent rule ass is like saying Paul Blart: Mall
Fart Cop doesn’t 110% rule ass. IT’S JUST A FLAT OUT UNDERSTATEMENT. Mickey Rourke? Check. Bruce Willis? Check. Jessica Alba? Check. Jessica Alba’s hips…..checccckkkk. GunsExplosionsCigarettesFrankMillerBlack&Whitekajshdfkashdfk. It’s just total system overload. Love. It.
Charlie’s Angels Full Throttle
You had me at My Sharona and Bernie Mac
Things Fall Apart
Clearly we’ve got the next Spielberg on our hand with director MVP (Mario Van Peebles for those of you who have been living in Iraq or under a rock or whatever). Not since MVP’s performances in Solo and Carlito’s Way: Rise to Power have I been so moved.
Now, I leave you with the coup de grace
Have fun trying to sleep tonight.
There are countless perks to being the editor-in-chief of the most prestigious Jeff Goldblum blog on the intertrons. Women flock, men envy, nerds bow. So I’m
sitting in my apartment burning my mouth on a hotpocket (yes, again) out eating lunch with Kanye when my phone rings, and it’s Roger Goodell, convo goes something like this:
Seth Brundle: Go for Grubs…
Roger Goodell: Brundle, hey butty!
SB: Rodge! You chode! What’s crappening?
RG: Nada, amigo, just watching Real World/Road Rules Challenge The Inferno 2 wrap up show, countin’ fat stacks of cash.
SB: Ha, classic Goodell. What can I do ya fer?
RG: Dude, I missed your blood orgy/American Idol viewing party, I’m feelin’ like a real jerkoff for that. Wanna make it up to ya.
SB: Go on…
RG: Come to the draft next week, all access.
RG: Bring my copy of The Pest with you, L8tr Sk8tr.
So here’s your exclusive Brundlefly recap of the 2011 NFL Draft!
Wednesday, Draft Dress Rehearsal
I arrived a bit early on wednesday to see that Roger was experimenting with ways to mix up the live show because of the Thursday primetime airing of the first round. One idea they tried that I thought was absolute gold was having a co-host to announce picks,
I also got a chance to interview Falcons GM, Comrade Commissar Thomas Dimitroff,
Thursday, First Round
Blah blah Cam Newton whatever who cares.
Before their first round selection, the Giants let me into the inner sanctum, pulled back the curtain to let me see how the fudge is packed on draft day.
And with their first selection the Giants took Prince Akeem Amukamara of Zamundi!
Friday, Second and Third Rounds
I spent most of Friday in Bill Belichick’s personal draft office,
I wish I had more to report but I went out that night with Adam Schefter, and though he may look like a tightly wound professional reporter, there’s a dark side…
As the internet is wont to do, it struck another chord of genius with the advent of “Chicks with Steve Buscemeyes“.
Hilary Swank looks about the same to be honest.
Here’s a wonderful video to brighten your Friday.
In case you were wondering as to how this gem came about, click here.