Archive for May, 2010

Sidekick of the Week

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , on May 31, 2010 by brundleflyonthewall

Back with another episode of Sidekick of the Week. There are obviously many things that make a person man a great sidekick, he must be dependable, loyal, funny and competent enough to adequately assist the hero but not so competent that he supersedes his status of sidekick to become a full fledged hero. With this in mind I have a great sidekick for today…

James Belushi in Red Heat! Red Heat doesn’t get the credit it rightly deserves as a badass actioner up there with the best of Schwarzenegger’s many badass actioners. Red Heat is the tale of a Russian, excuse me, Soviet cop who comes to Chicago to chase the drug dealin’ Russian baddie who has eluded the long dick of the law thus far. Now kudos to the casting department of this movie for realizing that only the beloved star Arnold could play a Soviet Commie and not have the 1988 American audiences storm out in anger. Arnold deftly leaves his native Austrian accent behind in favor of a more rural Russian tongue, because if there’s one thing American audiences care about it, it’s properly accented foreigners in Hollywood action films.

Now, to address Mr. Belushi. I know many of you are saying “Hey! He was more of a co-starring role! Sidekick my ass!” Well, I struggled with this. I know his screen time and presence is that of a co-star not a sidekick, but I think that when it comes down to it, Arnold shares the action spotlight with no man. Look at a film like Predator. That movie is chock full of totally buff, awesome dudes, but is there any doubt who the star of that film is? Methinks not. And if Carl Weathers and The Body couldn’t steal Arnold’s thunder than James Belushi would be lucky to wipe Arnold’s ass after taco night at the craft service table. So Mr. Belushi is a sidekick, and an able and wise-crackin’ sidekick he is.

If your name isn't on the top of the poster along with his, then homie, you ain't on his level.

The cigarette and cup of coffee is really all you need to know about Mr. Belushi’s devotion to fitness and training. But Arnold is buff enough for the both of them so who needs bulging pectorals when you can smoke cigs and crack jokes like Mr. Belushi.

This movie is chock full of memorable scenes. Who could forget Arnold’s nude bath house coal grip test. Or one of the most extreme examples of damn good police work…

This much cocaine stored in my fake leg is Russian for, "I'm here to party"

He somehow knew the jagoff piano player’s false leg would be stuffed with cocaine. And that cocaine wouldn’t be bagged or anything; these guys must love partying to have so much cocaine that you just have it loose inside a guy’s fake leg. John Belushi made a quick cameo to make this face as all that cocaine was unceremoniously poured out on the ground…

Zing. Also, make sure and not miss super hottie Gina Gershon doing some working out during the movie…

Welcum to the Babezone. Population: Gina Gershon

Congrats to Mr. Belushi for this prestigious award.

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Hungover News

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , on May 30, 2010 by brundleflyonthewall

I was going to try and post something that was movie related and insightful, but as is often the case on Sundays, my hangover dictates I not try very hard today. So should I write a breakdown of weekend box office numbers or a discussion of why you shouldn’t see Prince of Persia (spoiler alert: the movie sucks)? As previously stated, I’m hungover and only have an hour or two before I need to start drinking again (come on, it’s a slap in the face to our armed forces if I don’t) so you will not receive the usual mindless hate speech genius I provide. What you will receive is a collection of Kenny Loggins album covers that I think are funny.

Unicorns, man-babies, robes, butterflies... There's a lot to take in here, so enjoy it responsibly.

I think he makes the one kid wear a drum on his head because he couldn't keep the beat. Kenny may love singing with children, but he hates singing with children that can't give him a consistent backbeat for his acoustic sets.

This is breathtaking. It's either a profound statement on pan-religious understanding and the musical path to self actualization or it's a jumble of new age shit from a guy who was doing a lot of coke in the 80's.

I think that's the ghost of Sacagawea in the shadows of the foreground.

I'm not positive this is Kenny Loggins but it was on the first page of the google image search so it must be true.

He's either covered in dirt or has a fine sheath of hair covering his entire body (ed. note: jealous).

Oh this is just classic Kenny...a candid look into the man behind the music

Robes and flannel appear to be the clothing best matched with the Jesus facial hair style Kenny has wisely chosen.

This seems to be an appropriate image to end on. Although I disagree with the premise of this album where it says this is the "essential" songs of Kenny Loggins, which is fine but it does imply that songs not on this album would be non-essential. Whereas I would describe every song he's ever written and/or performed as essential.

Official Brundlefly Certificate of Recognition

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , on May 29, 2010 by brundleflyonthewall

I want to do something now that I have not done on the site before and that is to congratulate and point out a job well done with an official Seth Brundle Recognition of Achievement. Today, I’m awarding this to an actor who I appreciate both on and off the screen.

This is the face of a man that hates Hollywood bullsh*t and mandatory minimums

Mickey Rourke is an an actor never hesitant to speak his mind and call ’em like he sees ’em. And since I tend to agree with a lot of the things he says I find his honesty and viewpoint refreshing and valuable in a Hollywood so full of bullsh*t. Mickey Rourke has obviously been on something of a roll after the great success of The Wrestler and a leading role in some movie called Iron Man 2. He’s an interesting actor with a lot of quotes that very few, if any, notable Hollywood stars would have the balls to say. A choice few:

  • For 12 years I was alone, I had lost everything. The three people closest to me – my brother, my grandmother and my ex-wife – were no longer there. I had no real friends. I saw a few girls, Russian strippers mostly, but I wasn’t looking for a girlfriend.
  • I heard someone say Hollywood’s a celebration of mediocrity, which rings pretty true to me.
  • I really only want to work with material that has integrity, and with actors and directors that I respect. You know, people like Tony Scott, Robert Rodriguez, Quentin Tarantino – there’s a shortlist.
  • I was bouncing at a transvestite nightclub… and back then all the transvestites were on this sh*t called Angel Dust, so you’d hit them over the head with a baseball bat but they’d keep on coming.
  • Actors should shut up about politics, because they tend to be ill-informed finger-pointers who just cozy up to some flavor-of-the-month liberal, you know?

I appreciate and agree with these words, especially the ones about the angel dust fueled transvestites. A book written by him could be very enjoyable and insightful. There’s a book coming out about him soon but seeing as how it isn’t written even in part by Rourke I imagine it’ll be a lot less awesome.

I thought the movie was just mediocre but I really thought Rourke's character was awesome. Easily the highlight of the film for me.

Rourke was the best part about Iron Man 2 and he has a number of upcoming projects that are worth keeping your eyes open for. What I appreciate about Rourke is his honesty. He does movies he doesn’t like, and says so. He does movies strictly because of the money offered, and says so. I won’t ever hold making money against someone but do not take a role in Old Dogs or Furry Vengeance and then announce these are in any way good movies that have any positive or redeeming values. If Brendan Fraser would come out for his Furry Vengeance press conferences drunk and discussing how he “really wanted more things to hit him in the crotch because guys gettin’ hit in the dick is f*ckin’ hilarious” I would laugh along with him and maybe even go see the movie (ed. note: I would never see this movie). More honesty in entertainment would be so refreshing and I reward Mickey Rourke for doing just that. May the gods be with you Mickey Rourke.

Tractor Traylors

Posted in Uncategorized on May 29, 2010 by brundleflyonthewall

"Does anyone know where I can find quality meth at bargain prices?"

This is one of the most anticipated movies of the summer for me. And not because I’m assuming it will be good. Robert Rodriguez is the “creative producer” as Fox termed it and the film will be helmed by Nimrod Antal. Other than the obvious “his name is funny” jokes I can add nothing to the discussion about Mr. Antal. I think there is definitely the potential here to make an interesting film, especially with the first screen take on Predator homeworld. Though if this movie gets a PG-13 rating I’m going to throw myself off a bridge in utter disgust. Watching a PG-13 Predator movie is like watching the soft-core version of Pirates 2: Stagnetti’s Revenge that is available at Blockbuster, it’s just not the same dammit.

Machete red band trailer

Enjoy this one friends. More Robert Rodriguez and a leading role for Danny Trejo is always welcome in my opinion. I’m not sure that the gimmick of this film can effectively play out over a 90 min or more runtime but if it does this could be an epically awesome watch.

Black in Action

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , , on May 29, 2010 by brundleflyonthewall

Thanks for sticking with the site through the long writing hiatus. This November to June break from writing has seen a lot of things change in this world of ours. I am sorry that I have not been there to bring my blow, dick and fart jokes commentary to these events. Some thoughts on the last five months:

  • Just think that the last time I wrote on the blog I was able to sleep peacefully every night because I had never heard of Justin Bieber. His propulsion from pre-pubescent dork I had never heard of to pre-pubescent dork I have heard of has been most displeasing to say the least. Although, there is light at the end of this Bieber tunnel hell. If he is anything like me and my friends, he will soon discover internet porn and touching himself and go into his room and not come out for four or five months.
  • The best movie I have seen since I last wrote is probably Kick Ass or Shutter Island. I have already expressed my unconditional man crush for DiCaprio and his team up with Scorsese was quite enjoyable. Kick Ass was a good example of a movie that just gets it. The creative team behind it understood the source material and had a vision of what they wanted to do and made it happen. It’s R rated violence and comedy at its best. Good performances abound and it’s just a fun movie to watch.
  • Worst movies I have seen recently are probably The Descent 2 and… …well the Descent 2 was pretty horrible. The Descent is the scariest movie I have ever seen and to see this abomination carry its name is shameful. A quick rant on this film and it will double as my review of it. Most movies when there is a scene of darkness are not really dark, it’s ‘Stage Dark’. Dark enough to give the indication that it’s night or the power’s out or whatever but not dark where the audience cannot see what is happening. The Descent bucked this trend by making a movie that was actually dark ands the character’s flashlight beam provides the only visibility. A true representation of darkness. This is a primary reason why the Descent was so frightening, but Descent 2 made no such effort. It was glaringly stage dark the entire film and really took away from the frighteningly effective use of light in the first. Oh and I hated Tim Burton’s Alice in Wonderland, this was just stupid. Clash of the Titans was another notable turd. The post-production 3d effects looked terrible and the movie was a hollow, emotionless example of summer blockbuster filmmaking.
  • 3d movies seem to be taking hold. And I’ve mentioned it before but I’m still ardently against it. It’s a cash grab. Charging 2 or 3 doll-hairs more to see it in 3d is reprehensible (and this coming from a guy who despises works of charity and selflessness). 3d is a gimmick, it looks good in animated movies like How to Train Your Dragon and presumably Toy Story 3 but looks awful when done post production on non digital objects like human actors (hello Sam Worthington’s oddly shaped 3d head in Clash of the Titans). But in the end it adds nothing to your film.
  • I watch the evening news about once in a never so I have absolutely nothing┬áto report on news and current events.
  • Politics. No thanks.
  • The Yankees won a World Series, the Saints a Super Bowl (blagh, get over yourselves, Katrina was 5 years ago and none of the players were affected by it, spare me the ten thousandth human interest piece narrated Jeremy Schaap *dismissive wank*).

I think that about covers everything that has happened of note since I stopped writing. Correction, I am being handed a news brief by the CNN reporter on the TV behind me that Dennis Hopper has passed away. So that’s something I guess. Not the biggest Dennis Hopper fan but I guess he was pretty cool as the bad guy in Speed, though certainly not Bad Guy of the Week worthy. But anyway, long story short, he’s dead. And Gary Coleman died yesterday.

So hopefully I get my shit together and write a little more often. Thanks for checking the site.

-Seth Brundle