Archive for Top Gun
I know this story has gotten some attention from real news outlets (and Fox News… Zing!!) But I wanted to cover it anyway. On a news report released by the government about an exercise by the Chinese air force there were clips of planes doing plane stuff and one of the images included in the video was borrowed from Brundlefly favorite flick Top Gun. Here’s a link to Wall Street Journal’s coverage of the hysterical story . Rookie mistake, China. Obvious mistake is using a movie that even nerdy, uncool Wall Street Journal international reporters have seen. I think there are nine people in this country that haven’t seen Top Gun; I would seriously bet that Charles Manson has seen Top Gun. My solution:
Iron Eagle 4. Problem solved. If there are nine people that haven’t seen Top Gun, then there six people that have seen Iron Eagle 4 and I’m positive the Wall Street Journal’s Chinese affairs reporter is not one of them. You could steal extended scenes of dialogue with main characters and even the title sequence that actually says “Iron Eagle 4” and no one would accuse you of anything.
Also, all of the planes and explosions in this film are stock footage anyway.
It has just been decided upon by the board of directors at Brundlefly Studios Inc. which is the parent company of a group of venture capitalists who own the rights to this website that a new weekly award should be added to the already robust plate of offerings. This new award is the Wise Mentor of the Week. It was not the only weekly award in contention for a permanent spot, and while the following awards lost out this time, they may appear on a trial basis at a later date. Some of the losing awards: Best Mark Wahlberg Prosthetic Dick, problem here being you could only post really one legitimate picture and that might, as unbelievable as it sounds, get old and boring to look at. Best Use of Nonsensical Dialogue in a Serious Movie, George Lucas already gets enough shit for not having a neck and trying to make it appear as if he does by having a beard but without a neck there is no natural endpoint for the beard and it just looks grotesque, so I don’t need to rip on his new Star Wars total pieces of shit movies.
Best Unnecessarily Deep Voice, would be an every week tie between Colin Farrell in Miami Vice and Heath Ledger in Brokeback Mountain (he’s dead so I won’t make any jokes about him). There were some other awards but they will not be revealed at this time, or possibly ever.
So on with the new award!
When making a film, it is often the case that the hero of the film is young, brash, and inexperienced. He has all the talent necessary to achieve self realization by the end of the film but we are not there yet and he or she may need guidance. This is when films find it useful to insert a wise mentor to place the hero on the path towards righteousness. This award is not to be given to those that at first appear as the wise mentor but end up being the bad guy, that’s horseshit and I won’t stand for disingenuous wise mentors.
Now, when I first started compiling a list of wise mentors I kept coming back to one man as the standout, Mr. Miyagi. While there are plenty of other wise mentors he always seemed to be just a little better than any of the rest. That is why to honor his position as the greatest of all wise mentors and still be able to recognize others, the award will be named: The Mr. Miyagi Award for Excellence in Learned Mentorship. I thought about making it the Albus Dumbledore Award but he just died at the end of Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince (spoiler alert) so I figured it was too soon.
The inaugural winner of the Mr. Miyagi Award is…
Lt. Mike Metcalf, callsign Viper. He is a teacher at the Top Gun school for…kids who can’t Top Gun good and want to learn to do other stuff good too (Ed. Note: sorry, the Zoolander reference was lame.) He takes a special interest in our young hero Maverick and plays a pivotal role in Maverick’s maturation into an ace pilot.
Also, Viper possesses one of the all time great mentor traits, he knows the father of the hero that the hero himself did not know and is trying to follow in the footsteps of. Here, the two are talking about Maverick’s father,
Yea, the video is in Spanish because if you haven’t see Top Gun anyway you probably don’t even care about America and actually prefer if things are presented in a non-native tongue.
For those of us that don’t habla here is a video of more mentoring,
Side note: did we need the extended shot of Goose’s limp body being hauled into the helicopter as it just spins and dangles freely, kind of tasteless.
Enjoy, your moment in the sun, Lt. Mike Metcalf callsign Viper. You have a well earned Mr. Miyagi Award for Excellence in Learned Mentorship.