The Superman exists and he’s Swedish… Or British, or something weird

Zach Snyder’s Superman reboot, remake or whatever has a leading man, and he’s British which made a hardline, foreigner hatin’ ‘Murrican like myself respond like so…

Okay, that’s not entirely true, I just wanted to use that picture. Well, first of all, let me just say what we’re all thinking… Thank God he’s not black.

Okay, that was a joke too. Let’s be serial for a moment, I really don’t care if the actor playing Superman is British, how could anyone possibly care? As long as that limey bastard doesn’t rub it in our faces by changing Kryptonite to modern dentistry or Lois Lane to Kelly Brook … …

Yea, that Kelly Brook thing would actually be awesome, take notes Snyder, I’m practically printing money here.

The #1 shows in America are Two and a Half Men, CSI and American Idol so let’s not get on our high sybian about artistic superiority. And what bad-ass, talented American actors are we snubbing? Ashton Kutcher? Justin Timberlake? Shia Lebeouf? Spare me.

The only offensive thing to me is the fact that most superhero flicks suck balls. Hulk starring American Ed Norton blew, but then so did the Eric Bana one (I think he’s Egyptian or Jewish or something). That Wolverine movie starring Aussie Hugh Jackman was bad, Iowan Brandon Routh was in the last Superman reboot and it sucked. So, I guess my point is that crappy movies can star anyone.

On an semi-related note, is there any rule to how long we have to wait between remakes and reboots? It’s understandable/excusable to remake a flick that’s 20+ years or a full generation old. But with Hulk they really said ‘fuck that noise’ when the Ed Norton one came out, was terrible, and then they made another one a few years later with different actors (which also sucked). Spiderman is doing this now too. I’m bitching but I don’t really care because I won’t be seeing a Hulk movie unless the reboot involves the lead role going to a nude Scarlett Johanneson. It just seems lazy.

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One Response to “The Superman exists and he’s Swedish… Or British, or something weird”

  1. Black Superman Says:

    It would be kinda interesting if the next Superman WAS Black… haha… yes it’s the signature for my text messages… in short, I nominate ME for the next Superman reboot… LOL

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