Sidekick of the Week

When I look at sidekicks for consideration for this honor, I ask myself many questions. One of those questions is “What are the sidekicks specialties?” All sidekicks must have at least one or two things they are excellent at that give them value to our hero. When I was watching a certain sequel to a certain Arnold jungle alien action movie I stumbled upon a sidekick with seemingly everything as his specialty and so I knew immediately he needed to be honored with this week’s award.

Bill Predator 2Bill Paxton’s Jerry Lambert from Predator 2!! This movie is insanely awesome, I know the first movie kicks ass so this one had a lot to live up to but I feel it was so different feeling from the first one that they shouldn’t be compared too closely. This movie kicks a lot of ass and contains possibly the most true to life portrayal of the sickening crime present in the fair city of angels. Jerry Lambert is sassy and hysterical to say the very least. Danny Glover is the grizzled vet that is not appreciative of Lambert’s comic stylings to begin with but that will soon change as Lambert proves he is more than just sass. He is a damn good cop and it’s a damn shame he is murdered so brutally by our interstellar traveling baddie.

Predator-2-04If you know the chronology of this movie as well as I do you will realize that the skull and spine held by the Predator in this photo is the very skull and spine of our sidekick extraordinaire Jerry Lambert. Sorry it had to end like this, friend, but we had a good run of it.

I had a hard time finding video of Bill’s performance from this flick. This is the second time I’ve hit a wall when researching Predator 2, as earlier I wanted King Willy to have his time in the spotlight as bad Guy of the Week but I couldn’t even find a picture of that homie much less video evidence of badassery. Here’s the trailer as a consolation prize.

Hopefully one day the world will wake up and recognize the need to end global warming and fight world hunger for more videos of Predator 2 on youtube.

I know some of you when you  heard that Bill Paxton was winning Sidekick of the Week were upset that it wasn’t for his turn as “Punk Sidekick” (IMDB’s words) from the opening minutes of Terminator.

bill-paxton

I’m not sure what Bill Paxton did to please James Cameron to the point of putting him in Terminator, True Lies, and Aliens but I’m certainly willing to do it also. Even if it involves lube and a lot of crying. And bonus points to the nerds out there that recognized the iron jawed punk leader next to him from his roles in X-Files and Cobra (a personal favorite and a role which will be discussed at length in an upcoming Bad Guy of the Week).

Sidekick of the Week Runner-Up:

mariaMaria Conchita Alonso for her supporting roles in both The Running Man and Predator 2. The combined efforts of these two roles was so close to deserving the win but I prefer to judge solely on one sidekick performance. Two great roles though and she kicks some ass to be certain. She smashes Paxton’s balls when he comes onto her and she ruins the electric homo’s day when he comes onto her in Running Man. She may have looked kinda dykey in Predator 2 but the years have been kind to Miss Alonso,

Maria Conchita by MICHAEL CALAS 50Cougar status confirmed. Thanks for your efforts, Maria. Congratulations on second place.

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