Bad Guy of the Week

It was very tought to decide on who is the most devious and deserving person to win this week’s award but I think I have a good idea. I was watching tv the other day and stumbled upon The Running Man, Arnold’s classic 80’s actioner that has him kicking ass and spitting one liners on a futuristic kill or be killed game show. I was spellbound by the spectacle before me, this movie is awesome. And I was taken by how bad the bad guys are. These homies don’t play and I knew I needed to recognize such outstanding badness. But how to decide which of these Stalkers is the most deserving. While they all have outstanding resumes the winner is the one with the most outstanding record of badassery and gubernatorial success. And I am of course talking about…

For a film set in 2019 they did very little in the way of costuming and moustachioning to hide the fact the movie was made in 1986.

For a film set in 2019 they did very little in the way of costuming and moustachioning to hide the fact the movie was made in 1986.

Jesse Ventura’s Captain Freedom!! Yes, the man amongst boys as far as Stalkers go. He plays the sterotypical retired great to begin with but that doesn’t last long as it becomes clear that a superior challenger like Arnold needs a superior champion like Captain Freedom. Whereas the other nancy boy stalkers relied too heavily upon armor and weapons techonology, Captain Freedom would take on any comer armed only with a moustache, his caloused lumber jack hands and a disdain for immigrants. Just watch this workout video by Captain Freedom and see what I mean,

Okay bad example, Capt. Freedom just does that to pay child support for the dozens of children he’s produced with supermodels all over the country the rent. Here’s a better example of Captain Freedom’s take on shit,

Yea, I thought you’d see why I awarded him this honor. Congratulations Mr. Ventura.

Bad Guy of the Week Runner-Up:

If one Stalker must win, the others must lose. While they are noble champions of reality tv murdering, it just wasn’t enough this week.

fireballFireball, nice effort, thanks for coming out.

buzzsawBuzzsaw, dude couldn’t beat George Washington in a cherry tree chopping contest (read in smarmy Jim Rome voice).

dynamo_8Dynamo, easily the weakest of the Stalkers. Sort of an opera singer, electric repair guy vibe. Watching this video of his demise makes one wonder how he could have possibly had more than one maybe two kills to this point in his career.

sub zeroSub-Zero, I’m not really convinced that a hockey goalie is really the persona that is most applicable to murdering but whatevs.


One Response to “Bad Guy of the Week”

  1. and perhaps one of the best ending songs, which oddly enough, states almost perfectly exactly what happened in the movie. Perhaps, a little too perfectly……

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