Get the Tissues Ready

No, don’t get the tissues ready for that, rather get ready to weep, get ready to cry your eyes out, because an integral part of growing up in the 90s has recently been shit upon. I present to you Ace Ventura Jr.

Sure this movie came out earlier this year, but only until now could I pull it together and fully compose myself into writing about it. First things first, having been a former fat kid, nothing pisses me off more than the exploitation of fat kids in films, better known in the movie biz as “fatsploitation.”

Thumbs up!? HILARIOUS!!!!

Not only is this kid annoying as hell, but he also gives me Vietnam-style flashbacks to having my childhood gut hang over my speedo during swim team practice, why my mother decided her overweight son should be on the swim team where a skimpy speedo is required is something I will truly never understand. Now just take a look a trailer, I must warn you, this isn’t for those with a weak stomach.

Bonus points for the fake Tone Loc song in the beginning

Another problem I have with  Ace Ventura Jr. and it’s 1.9 star rating on IMDB is the question of whether or not the kids who they’re trying to get to watch this movie even have any idea who Ace Ventura is? The original came out 15 years ago and wasn’t exactly aimed towards the little ones, oh yeah except the scene where he discover’s Lois Einhorn’s cock n’ balls tucked between his/her legs, the toddlers LOVED that part.

Now if you don’t already hate this kid enough I’ll leave you with one more picture that is sure to send you over the edge.

And people wonder why the rest of the world hates America


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